I am trying to pay my bills. Working as many hours as possible. Take care of the past financial debts I have no choice to pay off. Credit card debt, past car loans, and judgments as those is not what I mean. Rent comes first. Still working towards a car. I almost found myself dead, at least it feels that way, more then a week ago. My appendix most likely burst. Problem is I felt to lousy to even take a ride to the hospital. Doesn't make sense I know, however by the time I wasn't sweating through 6 blankets throughout the night and my pain in my lower right abdonem suceeded a little, I cleaned myself up a bit... then hopped the bus to the emergency room. I felt as if I was carrying my crucifix then, trying to get across the intersection to the bus stop before the light turned green for ongoing traffic and then when I got off the bus I had to cross the street again and take a walk to the er in agonizing pain. I made it. I had so much infection in me it was hard for the docs to know what was going inside me. They drained over a pint of infection. After being released I have been home emptying my drip pan. It is connected to a tube in my stomache draining out infection. It's been almost a week since, now I have to call to make another appt. To do another cat scan and then surgery to remove my supposed burst appendix. Everything points to that direction and other test done eliminates other complications. Besides my health, I am living paycheck to paycheck. I have no idea how I am going to keep from becoming homeless if I can't continue to go to work right now and pay the bills. A year ago I was evicted and became homeless. I stayed in a fiberglass shop with a shower. It really made me stink and my clothing from the resin smells, which is embarassing when going to work. I became ill for a month last year, in as much pain as I am in right now. I also had an absyst tooth that swelled up much larger then a golf ball along with other pains, sweats, and chills. That time I suffered it out and healed naturally. This time thank god I went to the er or I would be dead right now. I just do not want to become homeless again. I am a single mom and have a eight year old child. Her father does not help out. He is quite older, though he looks young for his age. He had a business most his life that failed in this economy. It thrived for years and he never had to worry much about marketing and when the biz became sour he did not have any marketing skills to make it work since business would come to him mostly through word of mouth during the thriving years. He is finding himself unable to gain the skills to find work anywhere. People judge him for his age, tattoos, even a very old criminal background,ect. I tell him get a job anywhere even if it is McDonalds. He is having a hard time. I found him a pt job at a clothing retail store. However he is not making much at minimum wage and does not give me any child support. I am not making much at minimum either but I was working a lot more hours, 60 to 80 a week if I could. My two jobs really starting conflicting with each others hours, no matter how many times I asked my bosses to work me nights at one job and days at the other. I had to choose the one that gave me 40 hours a week. I need to work more then that to pay the bills and now I have a health issue and am out of work for the time being until I become better. I do not want me and my child to become homeless again! I don't want a burst appendix that I almost died from the infection either. I have never borrowed money in my life, never had help to pay a one time rent payment, my family is very tight with their money and will never give a hand up. I work hard it is my health that is failing me now to get ahead. Why I ask god, why this trial? Noone in my family will help financially... never have never will. I need that chance so I can heal and go back to work to get ahead.
